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| Hey all, It's been a while, hasn't it? I don't really have a reason to be blogging right now, just felt like I needed to update this thing. Planning on typing randomly and hopefully something good will come of it. lol. Don't really blog anymore because I guess in my mind I've kinda reached where I've been trying to go. I'm engaged to be married to my best friend on September 28th of this year. Pretty much everything I've even written / blogged about before in my life has had something to do with love. My world has always revolved around it. And the end goal was to find the one, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. Now I suppose I haven't completed all of those things yet, but now that I'm engaged, I don't worry about those things because I know it will all actually happen. It will all fall into place. I no longer have to doubt that. And I no longer have to wonder when or with who. This is good, yet in some way I feel like "Okay now what?" I've accomplished my life goal. Or at least am on my way to doing so. Once I actually get married (in less than 5 months) and then however long after that, have kids, I will literally be like done with life. All I ever wanted was to become a wife and mother. The rest of my life will just be me living out those dreams and every day trying to be the very best of both of those things that I can be. Which I am thrilled about, believe me! But, it's bitter-sweet. I will never again get to play a sad song on full blast and sing my heart out and cry my eyes out. How many times in my life have I done that?? How many heartaches? How many tears? Getting sick to your stomach and not being able to breathe you're so upset. Not being able to eat or sleep. Torturing yourself with pictures and other memories of that person, and listening to the saddest music possible. But then the joys of getting back together, or finding someone new, or at least just finding hope of getting back together, and the fun of the search for someone new. All of these things have been my life. For soo long. It's weird giving that part of me up. So much of it was painful..just downright awful to deal with. But in some sick way, I think I liked it. lol Idk I'm strange. But ya know what is there left to strive for? What is there interesting to write about? I found love. The end. Now I'm a boring old married person. Bye. Haha, that's how I feel!! Okay, well that's all I have to say for now. Later yall!
Love, Ginny Kay | | |
| Why? Why am I sitting here on the phone with someone I know I don't want to have a future with? Why do I drag things out that should be in the past? He's gone and yet it's like he might as well still be here. Still wasting my time. Still arguing. This is why there is no such thing as being friends with ex's. Someone's always still got feelings. Unfortunately they're no longer mutual. How do you tell someone you care about that it's over? It's too hard. But I know I'm probably making it worse on him by letting him talk to me. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. Probably should have cut off all ties completely. Errrg. I just don't wanna lose a friend. But that's another thing that's pretty hard to have..guy friends. I do have some actual guy friends were there is no sexual tension on either side. lol. But usually with opposite sex friendships (where both parties are straight lol) someone likes the other as more than a friend. So that always makes things just a little awkward. But whatever. Not my point. My point is I just want to move on. I want to have fun. I want to hang out with friends. I do not want to be at home. I do not want to be on the phone. I want to be living life..that thing I've been sorta missing out on for the last year! >_< The problem is I don't know how. I've gotten so used to the comfort of a relationship that I forgot how to date, how to go out, how to meet new people, how to try new things. It's all scary to be honest. But as some new country song says, "Staying is worse than leaving." I know this. I just need that push. Someone please drag me out of this self-destructive hole. I gotta take some chances. Some things have to change this year. It's freakin time. Gosh I am just feeling so down right now that I really don't even feel like writing this damn blog. But I do know it will do me good to get it off my chest.
Okay so I wrote that ^ quite a while ago...sometime back in February. Now to add some more thoughts (and perhaps analogies!!) to this "THINGS I REALLY WANNA SAY":
I'm like a Taylor Swift of blogging...not in that I have beautiful hair or talent lol, but in that she always writes songs about people in her life. If a guy hurts her she WILL write a song about it..using his name even lol. If you do something that pisses me off I WILL write a blog about..usually don't mention names though- I'm not quite that mean ;) Anyway just thought I'd throw that out there... careful what you say or do to me--you might end up in one of my weblogs! hahaha.
I have decided that lonely is a state of mind. Or at least that is what I decided a month ago...I suppose I still agree. It's just that I always prided myself on never being lonely even when I was alone. I always talk about how much I love to be by myself. This is still true, but I think for the first time in a long time I am feeling lonely. I'm sure it still is a state of mind, however. Because you can be in a room full of people and still feel very, very lonely. I guess that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Ugh, I'm sorry. This is getting "oh I'm so sad whaa poor me" ...Do not want that! My point is, being lonely really has nothing to do with being alone. It is all a matter of what is going on in your head and what you are feeling in your heart. You can be alone and be perfectly content. And vise versa.
Project X- looks like the most stupid, ignorant pile of trash I've seen come to the theaters in a while! Oh hey- Yeah, ya know kids aren't already partying and getting drunk and having sexy and doing illegal stuff and getting in trouble and being dumb enough as it is!! Let's make a frickin movie about it to encourage them to do it more!!! Good f---in plan!!!!
Picture on Facebook of young boy holding a baby. Caption says something along the lines of: "This is my brother. He is 17. He got a girl pregnant last year at a party. She didn't want to keep the baby, so he is now raising her on his own. Please vote for him for the cutest teen contest!" Then people were all like, "OMG how cute! What a great guy! That's so amazing! Good for him! That is really awesome that he stepped up and is taking care of her! So sweet! Aww! blah blah blah..." I commented on it and just flat out said it, "Honestly, I'd be impressed if he hadn't gotten a girl pregnant at a party in the first place!!" Lots of people liked my comment lol :) (psst! its cause im right in case u didnt kno!) I mean helloooooo people! Obviously if he got the girl pregnant it is his (and her) responsibility to take care of the child! I don't think he deserves extra praise for doing what he SHOULD do. It is expected..or at least it ought to be. Freakin kids havin babies...so f'n stupid!
Did you know... Australia thinks its okay to "abort" aka MURDER new born babies. They are born. They are babies. And they decided it is lawful to kill them at that point. Now I of course don't find it any more okay to kill them when they are weeks old in the whom, but the thing is that if they are saying they are allowed to do away with their children after they are already out of the whom...where does it stop? Exactly how many hours after they are born is it okay to kill them? Maybe until they're a year old. You know like Mary Kay..you can try it out for a year and if you decide it's not for you, you can sell it back to the company and they dispose of it. Should give people a deal like that right? I mean this kid is gonna poop and cry..they might regret that decision a year from now. It ought to have like a warranty on it...a return policy..right?! LIKE WTF PEOPLE! IT'S A FUCKING HUMAN BEING!!!! I just cannot even fathom this stupidity. I seriously don't know how they can say you can kill your child as a new born but not after that. I am really afraid they are just gonna make it legal to kill your child until he or she turns like 18 or something! It honestly would not surprise me at this point. THIS is what the world is coming to... HAS come to! Soooo sad. =/
To people who complain about how "difficult" their lives are and cry about everything and feel sorry for themselves: What about child soldiers in worn-torn countries? How much must their lives suck? But they don't have to cut themselves do they? People inflict pain on them everyday. They don't need to inflict it on themselves. I can't imagine how idiotic they would think that is if they knew what these whiny Emo Americans do!! Here we are with everything we need and we are safe. No one is harming us. But yet some choose to harm themselves. Stop being so fucking selfish and stupid! Everybody's life sucks at some point, in some way! It's how you deal with it that sets you apart. Everyone praises Demi Lovato for overcoming cutting and her eating disorders and idk depression and drugs and whatever else. Wow..I'm a beautiful, rich, talented actress / singer. Poor me! Oh no, someone called me fat! Whaaa! Somebody said I'm not pretty! Boo hoo! Let me fucking starve myself now and cut myself. On purpose! Even though there are people starving because they don't have food! You're gonna starve yourself intentionally. And put yourself in physical pain when there are people all over the world in so much pain that they can't do anything about. It can't be stopped. Mmmhmm. Yep. That's a real great role model. Everyone should definitely look up to her! Seriously, no one could ever make me feel sorry for people slit their wrists. Oh boo hoo you don't have friends, you're not popular, you don't get attention at home, you're not skinny, you have acne, you're poor, your boyfriend dumped you...WHATEVER! Fucking deal with it!..In a SENSIBLE way! Americans always cry about their lives. Meanwhile, some people have ACTUAL problems! But, no. It's all about our "feelings." The world is over is someone hurts our feelings or offends us. It makes us "feel bad." So dumb. I wish everyone who's ever cut themselves could get a taste of REAL PAIN! You're all ridiculous. And most of you probably just do it for the attention! Some do it 'cause they think it's "cool" to be "Emo." I don't give a damn what your reasoning is--It's completely uncalled for and straight up RETARDED! If you're really THAT sad then go see a counselor or therapist and maybe take some medication! Don't be stupid and hurt yourself.
Haha I came to the conclusion the other day that blogging is a lot like pooping. (Just hear me out) When you eat a lot of junk you start to feel bad, you got all this stuff inside you- you feel fat and lazy and just yuck. Then you go to the bathroom and you feel better right?! lol Well right now it's like I have all of these built up feelings inside of me and it's making me so depressed and confused...I often feel like this after I have let many emotions and thoughts pile up inside me. Then I write long blog about it all and I feel SOOO much better! See! =D Oh gosh..I really just make an analogy about poop. I am so sorry. If at this moment you want to make the decision to never read my blogs again, I would not blame you. lol. | | |
| So I was watching this movie the other day about a man who is engaged to this woman, then he buys this old desk and finds a 135 year old letter in one of its compartments. His crazy mother convinces him to answer it and send it (even tho the woman who wrote it is obviously dead now.) He then magically receives a reply in the same compartment of the desk as before. They write letters to each other like this for a while..and well I won't spoil the whole movie- it's really good, you should watch it! [its called The Love Letter] But the point is they fall in love..over the spans of time..not even seeing each other and knowing they can never meet or be together. But he feels so strongly in love with the woman from the letters he realizes he has never felt this way about anyone else before..not even his fiance at the moment. Once he understood what true love felt like he knew he didn't love his fiance as much as he should love someone he is going to marry and spend the rest of his life with. He calls off the engagement! Because of a dead woman! THAT is the power of love. Although he couldn't be with the one he loved, he would not settle to be with someone he was not truly in love with. I think, as tragic as it can be sometimes, that is the way it should be. People say oh that's just in movies- real love can't be like that. Well no real love can't time travel BUT we can refuse to just settle for "good enough." (Michelle Branch just saved this blog cause I just accidentally deleted a whole flippin' paragraph and as I'm about to freak out in the background I hear this song saying "just breathe" lol and I calmed down.. OK let's try this again hopefully i remember everything i had typed out!!) anyway yes I am still stuck on this subject! I don't know about you all but I want to find my "prince charming" as one may call it. Some people do! Some have to wait forever and look all over and kiss a bunch of frogs to get there, but they do get there! And some lucky people find them on the first or second try. Either way I think it would be worth it! To have TRUE love! Real, fulfilling, deep, wonderful, amazing LOVE. What else on earth could be better?? Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic..idk. I just feel more and more, whether it be something I hear in a song, something I see on TV or in a movie, or something I witness in real life--that love is too important to waste. Why waste your love on someone you are not really in love with? Why waste your own time or their time? Cause you know it's not really gonna work out. Even if you do stay together you're never really gonna be happy. you might make do, but come on don't you want true happiness?? And don't you want that for others? If you're not fully in love with the one you're with, they probably aren't going to be fully happy either because even if they love you that much they will feel that you don't and that will make them feel sad and incomplete. It isn't fair to anyone involved. You can think "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." But that doesn't work! That's just a stupid song from the 70s or whatever. Just cause it's catchy doesn't make it true! That sounds like a miserable life if you ask me. Don't take second best! If you wouldn't settle for second best in other things, why would you settle for second best in LOVE? You shouldn't lead people on. They time they are spending with you they could have been spending out their looking for their true love. And same goes for you! You can have fun with lots of people. You can have things in common with lots of people. You can find a lot of people attractive. You can feel comfortable with a lot of people. None of these things by themselves or even a combination of any of them are reasons to be with someone. If there is a lack of some of these things it could possibly be a reason or reasons not to be with someone. But if you're in love with them you could look past most or all of those things. And even if all of those were true and you aren't in love with them--it's not going to work!! Lots of people like the same kinds of stuff I like... doesn't mean I should marry them. There are lots of sexy people in the world..doesn't mean any of them are the one for me (but gosh i hope so lol) There are many people I feel comfortable with and have fun with-- they are called FRIENDS. I don't want to date or marry my friends!! I'm not in love with them.. I love them, yes. Like FRIENDS. There is a difference. Of course we all know that. Duh. I do want the person I marry to be my friend too, but it obviously has to be so much more beyond that too. I want us to have fun together & laugh. What would a marriage be without fun and laughter?? Naturally they has to be a pretty high level of comfort--you will be living together--FOREVER lol. Kinda need to be comfortable around each other. Gotta have good communication. Gotta have good chemistry. Should at least have IMPORTANT things in common and agree on major issues. The rest is just gravy. Would I have trouble marrying someone who couldn't stand David Bowie? Uh, yes. But would it be a deal breaker? Uh, yes. LOL I'm just kidding. that's just small stuff! The point is you have to know what's important to YOU. What are your deal breakers? What are you looking for? If you don't even know how can you hope to find that person? Right?? So think about it. I'm not saying you should make some extremely detailed list and stick to it no matter what. Have the things that you will NOT budge on (shouldn't be too many things) then have the "would like to haves" and stuff like that...you get the idea. My husband HAS to be a Christian. I would LIKE him to also be a virgin (and that used to be as has to be thing) but I know that is pretty unrealistic...especially the older I get. He has to want kids. Want him to like cats but isn't a must. You see? You just have to figure out what your priorities are. Once you have all that figured it you can save SOO much time when dating! You won't waste time with a guy you know you don't want to end up with. But you have to realize sometimes life gets in the way..you can't also stick to "the rules." So have good judgement on when you should bend the rules and when you shouldn't. Don't let this "list" keep you from a great love. You have to think with your head AND your heart. But when it comes down to it (at least for me..and this may be good or bad idk) the heart always wins. As stupid as it may seem, I'd rather be with someone I am completely and madly in love with that is soo wrong for me than be with someone who has everything I want but that I feel nothing for. Haha wow I really feel like I've said that EXACT thing before in a blog not too long ago.. SO SORRY! Maybe some of you needed to hear it again and maybe there are some of you that didn't read the first one. I just think it's important for everyone to think about...people don't seem to care about true love as much as they used to! It's all about sex and hooking up with random people and messing around and bragging about how many people you've been with and using each other and having no attachments or real commitments. It just makes me very, very sad. In the world today, lust as taken over love. It may be ridiculous but I want someone to write me romantic letters or poetry or something like that. No one tries to romance or woo anyone anymore. You just "sext" em and call it a day...so, so ugh I just don't even have words for it!! Disgusting. That's exactly what it is. And sad like I already said... =/ I really just can't even talk about this anymore. it's making me depressed and angry. No you know what I'll manage because I am not done with this subject-- while I'm on the topic of "sexting"..Douchefucks: (im sorry i swore to myself i would keep this rated 'all ages allowed'..oops guess itll be 'caution' now) It is NOT appealing to me for you to send me a picture of yourself in the mirror, in your underwear, lifting your shirt up to show off your "abs"...It makes me (a) gag & (b) literally want to come through the phone and choke the living shit out of you. You don't know me! And even if you did..that is still not acceptable!! Like seriously what in the hell is going on in that douche bag brain of yours that makes you think that is a good idea?!?!?! I really wanna know..I just can't wrap my head around it!! Ha and on top of that having the audacity to ask ME to send YOU pictures? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO! This just proves all the more how little you know about me. But then I think..boys would't ask these things if there weren't girls out there who actually do this...then I got even more confused! Because ok I know guys are stupid ass holes..but girls really why would you bring yourself down to that level? You've really given us women a bad rep. Sluts like that sending random pics of their bodies to guys they barely know just to get attention.. like obviously you never got attention at home or your parents didn't tell you they love you enough or SOMETHING to be making you do this dumb shit. Like are you really that desperate for attention / affection? These guys don't care about you. You must know this!! Oh crap I'm getting into the other blog I was gonna write that is totally separate from this one. lol wow i really got off subject!! sorry i suppose i will finish this slut rant on my other weblog entitled "Keepers vs Playthings."
bye for now! I've got like 4 other entries started and not finished..lol better get on those! instead of having all my thoughts all complied into one huge random blog like usual..I feel like that probably gets a little confusing and or difficult to read. soo I am going to try to organize my thoughts for ya!! <3
PS i could try to hide this from some people on my Facebook in order not to offend some people or to keep people from judging me, but nah. If you're a douche bag you need to know it. If you want to be judge me for cursing, so be it. I'm sorry that I feel it is necessary to get my point across sometimes...this being one of those [many] times. So I'm not perfect..you oughta know that by now :) | | |
| In general, I dislike girls. For one, I just don't feel comfortable around them. There was a time when I did. I used to have girl friends--really close girl friends. We could talk for hours on the phone. We talked about everything and shared all our secrets. There was never a dull moment. We didn't run out of things to do or things to talk about. Of course, we were younger then. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, but maybe. We were more carefree I'm sure. Fewer problems and less stress = not as many arguments. Now there are trust issues. I've been stabbed in the back by too many girls. It's difficult to even imagine ever being that close with a girl again. My mom says I act like I don't care about those friends anymore. The fact is, she's right. I used to. Then it got to a point where I just couldn't afford to care anymore. If I were to dwell on all those lost friendships, it would ruin me. Losing a best friend is a thousand times harder than losing a boyfriend. You always say to each other, "Boys will come and go, but friends are forever." You don't really expect to be with a boyfriend forever. Even when you do, you kinda don't. (Haha--if that made any sense!) When it comes to friends, there's usually no doubt in your mind that they'll be with you until the end! That mindset is what makes it so difficult when they actually do leave. Then you open yourself up to new friends and they do it too. You give it one last shot. That fails too. You get to the point where you decide you just can't have people like that in your life. If they want to leave you like that, then they don't belong in your life! I don't need that negative energy! Do not waste your time worrying about them or missing them. It was their choice. I have to move on. I have two friends who I have known my whole life who have never done anything to hurt me. I do have some other girl friends now too, but I know I'll never fully open up to them the way I did other friends. Besides the deeply routed trust issues I have with girls, there are just a number of things I don't like about them. (Yes, I do realize I am one! Haha.) For instance, today I had a wonderful conversation with a dude I just met about sports, music, trucks, farming, politics, religion-- like just stuff ya know. But it was nice to just talk about STUFF for a change. Girls always want to talk about their feelings or their hair or their boyfriends or their clothes or their nails. They want to talk about other bitches. They squeal when they get excited. They giggle a lot. (I am guilty of some of these things. I am not proud it it.) They don't care what sports team won the other night. They don't give two shits about trucks, tractors, or farming. (Not all girls are this way obviously! I'm strictly talking about those girly girls. You know.) They only listen to gay music like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Ke$ha. They don't like classic rock, metal, or grunge. I think a lot of young girls don't even know what they like! They like what the media tells them to like. They like what their friends like. Yep. There's always that friend. The one who wants to fit in so badly that they just copy every single thing you do. Guys don't do that shit. Guys don't do a lot of the shit girls do. That's why it's so much more fun and, more importantly, relaxing to hang around guys. They are just chill. They don't try to start drama. They're not trying to copy you or compete with you. (Yeah, I hate that too. It's always a competition with girls--in everything!) Guys aren't worrying about what they're wearing or how they look. They relax and allow themselves to have fun--genuine fun! Do girls ever really have fun? There's always an agenda. If things get too peaceful or happy you better believe someone's gonna start somethin' up! They wouldn't dare have a drama-free day! And if they don't openly start something up, then they're actin' fake as hell 'cause they're thinking something nasty about you in their head, but don't have the balls to say it. I hate fake! Girls are ALWAYS freakin' fake to each other! One more thing that guys do not do! They know how stupid that is what a waste of time it is!! Another thing is that guys are usually funnier. Some girls are pretty funny, but guys are just so much better at it. I have no idea why. Girls are super needy too! They always gotta be around you. They get all butt hurt if you don't talk to 'em constantly or hang out with them regularly. I like to be alone a lot of the time. That's who I am. I hang out with people when I want to. And like I said since it's never really a relaxing time around girls, I'm usually not lookin' forward to spending time with 'em. Just bein' honest. It's not a big deal to go chill with the guys. Sometimes I think about tellin' my guy friends we need to just go have a fun guy day...then I realize I'm not actually "one of the guys." Haha. Awkward. =( Anyway, I am still a girl and therefore I do somewhat sympathize with all the problems girls have. I like giving advice and enjoy helping people. If any girl ever needs someone to talk to, I'm all ears. I suppose it's only my feelings I don't feel comfortable spilling out. I will gladly listen to someone else's and try to help sort them out. As long as I don't get too attached, I'm good. I like girl time every now and then. I know a couple really awesome girls in D Lounge who do not fit into the "annoying girl" category at all. I'm just not trying to get to know any other girls. Some girls are nice and some girls are whores. I really don't feel like taking the risk to find out who's who. I'm good with the few I've got. Then I have a couple Facebook girl friends whom I've never actually met in real life. They're cool. And, of course, I couldn't forget my Tumblr / Twitter friend! I know she's not a girly-girl! We can talk about basketball! =) And I think I like grown women better than girls. So, possibly age has a lot to do with it. Most teenagers are annoying as hell. Most college girls are skanks. I don't have very much in common with older women right now. Obviously, they have their husbands and kids and whatever. Can't really relate to that..but they are generally more calm and drama free. You can have a decent conversation with them. I know some really inspiring women. It's always an uplifting experience when I get to talk to them. (Get to see one Saturday!) Anyhoo...that is why I prefer guys over girls. The end.
-GinK | | |
| Now, by no means am I saying I'm ready for another relationship, but, on the other hand, I also don't see the point of sitting around moping. So I will be dating. I want to see what else is out there. I want to get to know some people and have some fun. (Don't take "have some fun" the wrong way! lol) Anyway, when the time comes for me to get another boyfriend, I am going to have a plan. My last relationship was a learning experience, and did end in a great friendship, but all-in-all it was a DISASTER. The next time around I want to be prepared and stick to what I know works. (Because trust me- I definitely know what DOESN'T!) So this blog will entail a list of guidelines that I would like to follow when choosing my future significant other. Will this list go out the window as soon as I meet a guy I really like? Probably. BUT, at least I can say I had a plan! (And sorta kinda tried to stick with it! lol)
One thing I am certain on is cheating. I can't sit here and say, "I will NOT be cheated on again!" Yeah, yeah. All girls say that, but guess what- they get cheated on AGAIN! You can't know whether or not it's going to happen. I mean, if the dude tells you, "Yo I've cheated on every one of my girlfriends before." Then, um, perhaps that's a red flag! Most guys, however, are going to tell you how great they are and that they'd never cheat. But, you must remember that we're all human. Mistakes can happen. People screw up sometimes and it can catch you completely off guard. I'm going to be upfront with my man about the matter: Look, I figure you're either going to cheat or you're not. I don't think my saying this is going to encourage you to cheat...at least I hope not. And I'm not saying I condone cheating--BUT, if you're gonna cheat, just don't let me find out about it! I mean really. I don't wanna know! Ignorance is bliss. You say you aren't a cheater. Now, I don't know you that well yet, but so far you haven't proven otherwise. So I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty, right? I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to. So, please--don't give me a reason! If you're going to cheat, at least be good at hiding it! (Not like SOME people..who will remain unnamed!) I won't try to find out, but if for some reason I do, we'll just be done. Even if you feel guilty and come clean on your own, we'll probably still be done. Which is fine because if you're cheating you obviously don't want to be with me and I already know I don't want to [knowingly] be with a cheater. So we'd both be better off that way. I say 'knowingly' because if I tried to stay with you after you cheated I would turn into a crazy person. Guys are always saying how crazy girls are. I would say girls are only crazy when guys push us to that point, but I don't think that's entirely true. I'm pretty sure some girls are just crazy to begin with. '~' I am not one of those girls. I'm not inherently crazy, but I can be crazy if I need to be! So, all I ask is that you don't make me be that person. Have female friends. That's fine. I have guy friends. Just know what's appropriate and what isn't. It's not rocket science. It's simple. Just don't freakin' cheat on me! But if you do, you better be darn good at covering your tracks!!
Secondly, don't be a little bitch. If you've got issues- deal with them! Man up. I'm not here to be your mommy. Of course everyone needs a friend to talk to and lean on once in a while. And I will gladly be that friend. But you must know the difference between just sharing your problems with someone and whining about them ALL the time. No one can be strong constantly. I understand that. But, if you are bitching more than me, we have a problem! Girls complain and I am no exception. I will admit that. (Sorry guys, but it's just what we do...The better you are at keeping me happy, though, the less I'll have to complain about! Haha.) But how is it supposed to work if there's two of us doin' that shit!? Think about it. It ain't pretty! Everyone has SOME kind of issues. Everyone has a past. The people who succeed don't let their past define them. They rise above it. I love giving advice and I love helping people with their problems. It sounds like a good thing, but I can easily end up babying someone and, in turn, enabling the person. I can't do that anymore. It takes too much out of me. No matter how much I tell myself I have to stop, I can't. I know he is not my responsibility and that I can't do everything for him, but the mothering side of me wants to so badly! That's why I need a strong man who can deal with his own shit and take care of himself--cause I gotta take care of myself too! Whenever a time comes when we DO need to take care of each other, how could we if we haven't even had the chance to take care of ourselves? So don't blame your problems on otherpeople and don't live in the past. Move on and keeping striving to be the best you can be.
Here's an important thing. Don't talk about marriage or kids. Like seriously- stfu! No one is getting freaking married!! It's so annoying. I thought only psycho desperate girls did that kinda shit, but no. I've met plenty of dumb ass guys who are like, "Oh, hey! Nice to meet you. Wanna get married?" Okay, that's a complete dramatization. Haha. But, you get my point! I can understand if we're together for like a year or more and if you're plenty old enough to even discuss such matters. (I'm sorry I just think people are getting married and having babies WAY too young these days! I realize I'm almost 23, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for all that junk!) And even then you should only start off making general statements. For instance, how old you want to be when you get married, how many kids you want to have, where you want to live, etc. But, don't actually include me in those plans until we're both very certain. It's just weird and creepy. You know all girls dream about their perfect wedding, but it doesn't mean we discuss it with every guy we date! (I guess I can't speak for all girls. lol) So no one should be saying, "If we were married...blah blah blah." until both of us are ready for marriage and blah blah blah!! Lol.
Okay, here's where it gets tricky. I'm not gonna be that bitch who says if you don't have money and your own place and a car and whatever we can't date. However, as TLC would say, I don't want no scrub. We're all young adults here. I understand that none of us fully have it together yet. That's fine. Look at me- I'm still in school and still living at home. But I have numerous jobs, my own car, and my own phone. I pay for my insurance, my cell phone bill, gas, car repairs, my student loans, my clothes, toiletries, entertainment, and any food I want outside of what my mother cooks for supper every night. So, all I ask is that I don't have to pay for your shit too. If you don't have a car, you better at least have money for gas and a damn drivers license. You can use my car but I'm not driving your ass everywhere and I sure as hell ain't payin' for the gas to take you places. I've been doin' that bull shit for way too long now! Never again. Most importantly though, you must have a plan. I am working hard in school studying small business management and photography. I am going to start my own photography business when I graduate, if not before. If you're going to date me, I expect you to be working on SOMETHING. Either be in school working towards a specific goal, or have a decent and steady job. You can't just sit on Xbox all day and night mooching off everyone else around you! Oops, am I getting too specific? ;) (I hope he doesn't read this!!)
You must be a Christian. Period. There's no debating that one. Jesus Christ is the single most important thing in my life. When everything else fades he will be the one thing that is still there. He is all that's real in this life. If you don't believe that he died on the cross to save you from your sins and if you're not trusting solely in him to get you to heaven, then it will absolutely NEVER work. There's really not too much more I can say about this one. It's pretty clear. Why would I choose any guy over my Savior? No. You have to love him as much as I do or it's not happening between us. "How can you expect me to walk with him and give myself to you?" -#ZOEgirl
Now that I've covered the basics--the important stuff--I can just add a few minor "would be nice" details. I love basketball. The Chicago Bulls are pretty much my life during basketball season. (lol not literally but I really do love them...like A LOT!) You don't have to be a Bulls fan, but you should at least be a basketball fan! I also like football. I root for the Bears. Again, I don't care who your team is, but if you call yourself a man and don't like any sports (golf and NASCAR do not count!) then we're probably gonna have some problems. I also won't get along with someone who has bad taste in music. I should not even have to elaborate on that. You should know what good music is without me having to tell you. If you don't, don't bother trying to date me. Music is a big part of my life. If you hate children, go suck an egg! You were once a child, duh! So I don't want to hear it. Children are a precious gift from God. If you're too cool to get a lil crazy and act stupid once in a while- forget it. You gotta lighten up. I need a guy with a good sense of humor. I want someone who can make me laugh. =) I also want someone I know I can be my goofy self around. (Although I'm quite shy so it will take me a while to get there.) Be a good listener, but don't make me do all the talking. In fact, I don't mind if you do most of the talking at first lol...I'm sorry--I told you, I'm shy! I like to listen too, so it's okay. Just be willing to listen when I am ready to talk. Huge thing- humor me! If you know I'm trying to be cute or funny, just laugh and go along with it, even if I look like a complete idiot! I hate feeling stupid. Who doesn't, right? I'll always humor you! Heck, I always humor EVERYONE! It's just the right thing to do. It's not hurting anyone to laugh at a joke you don't really find funny. Personally, I think it's mean not to. That's just me, though. I don't like to see people get embarrassed or feel dumb. We all know what it feels like and it's not pleasant. I'd like someone who appreciates nature and enjoys being outside. Don't be afraid to get dirty or go on an adventure sometimes. :-] Don't get hung up on the material things in life. I know, we're all guilty of it...just some worse than others. I just want someone who knows what's truly important. It shows maturity. Well, I guess that's about it. Haha, I'm sure just glancing at this list will be enough to make any guy head for the hills! =P But, honestly, I don't think it's that much to ask! I promise I'm worth it. :)
Love, Ginny Kay
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